How to Sniff Out the 'Knife Crazy' Person in Your Life
Do you know someone who is a bit obsessed with knives? Here's a case study of that knife-crazy person in your life.
I’m guessing that a lot of us have at least one knife-crazy person in our family or list of friends. Shoot, you might even be a knife-crazy person yourself. There's no shame in being enamored or even obsessed with edged weapons. There are many other things that folks fixate on and collect that could arguably be worse.
But I do find these folks interesting and their obsession oddly compelling. You see, I have some intimate knowledge of this kind of person. My brother is that knife-crazy person, or as I like to say, a crazy knife person.
Let's face it, these folks can be a little irritating. That's the case with my brother, at least. There's even a word for their affliction. It's called aichmomania, which is an obsession with sharp, pointy things such as knives. My brother would undoubtedly be considered an aichmomaniac. I'm not sure he likes being called one, but that doesn't stop me.
But seriously, there are a few traits that describe the aichmomaniac fairly well. First, they always seem to have a small duffel bag full of knives with them. Whenever my brother comes over for a visit, he's inevitably carrying a small duffel bag. He either sets the bag dramatically on the table as though he's about to unveil something mysterious, or he subtly sets it off to the side, in which case I know he's got some "old" knives that have either been newly sharpened or have new sheaths. It just depends on how quickly he wants to get to the knife demonstration.
Whether it's a new knife or an old one that's been modified, he always has something to show me.
If he has a new one, he's sure to fill me in on every single piece of information regarding its construction. He can go on and on about the most specific details. But even though I tend to glaze over at times, it is interesting. He looks at knives much like I look at different types of fishing line or .308 loads.
Next, he's able to discuss both the pros and cons of different knife sheaths, whether they're kydex, leather or a combination of the two. This is where I perk up a bit. I love a good sheath, and can appreciate both the aesthetic and practical qualities that go into one. I love the combination of form-fitting kydex covered in tooled brown leather.
Source: Peter Kohler - Dark Timber Brotherhood
Next, he performs the paper-cutting demonstration, usually by grabbing whatever paper happens to be within reach. More than likely, it's one of my bills, tax forms or something else important to me. Before I can protest, he'll neatly and slickly slice it into ribbons with a knife he's sharpened to a razor's edge, as if to validate everything he's said up to that point.
"Just look at this baby," he'll say. "Like butter, man, like butter!"
Finally, he'll allow (force) me to hold the knife and, if it's a folder, nag me to open it with one hand in one quick, smooth motion.
"Flick it like you mean it!"
If it's a fixed-blade knife, he demands that I move my hand around on the handle.
"How's that feel?" he'll ask. "Choke up on it and put your thumb on the jimping. Feel the weight and heft of it. You can see how this one would be good for batoning."
"Yes, yes. It would be great for batoning or whittling feather sticks," I'll say, trying to impress him with my experience.
This is the routine we'll go through with every knife in his bag, of which there are usually four or five, including at least one new one.
My brother, the knife-crazy…or crazy knife person.
